The world is a strange place right now, my friends. This is uncharted territory for all of us. 

This uncontrollable virus has spread so rapidly throughout the world, it hardly feels real. I continue to pinch my self, checking to see if this is real life, a strange dream, or if I stumbled on to the set of Black Mirror (you never know these things when you live in LA.) 

Just one week ago, I had never even heard of things like “social distancing,” “flattening the curve,” or “N95 respirators.” Now they are as familiar to me as the happy birthday song. I find myself in conversations multiple times a day debating just how much toilet paper and bottled water is an appropriate amount to have stocked up and what actually is the best ratio of aloe vera, rubbing alcohol, and essential oils for home-made hand sanitizer. Even as someone who consistently practices mindfulness, I’ve never been so keenly aware of how many times I touch my face in a single hour or just how long 20 seconds really is. 

This is the new normal. Undoubtedly, it is a crazy time to be alive.

There are a million sources on the internet right now that will sell you fear and panic if that’s what you want to buy; however, if you know me, you know that focusing on the panic is not really my vibe. I want to offer a new perspective on how to understand your fear as well as some strategies that will help you make the most of this strange moment in history.

COVID-19 is a dangerous virus with serious public health and economic implications. If you don’t know about it, educate yourself to know the facts of the illness, how it spreads, and what you should do to protect yourself and your community. The World Health Organization and Center for Disease Control are great places to start.

It’s normal to feel afraid right now. There are a lot of unknowns in the world. 

Our brains do not like uncertainty because it is inherently stressful. In fact, one study found that “uncertainty is more stressful than predictable negative consequences.” So, when there is an unprecedented virus running amok, in order to feel better, your brain tries to come up with something that does make sense. You might think about all of the terrible things that have ever happened to you, movies you’ve seen, and tales you've heard, creatively combining them to create a new possible outcome, such as “the world is ending and we are all going to die.” Even though “we are all going to die” is scary, it is still easier for your brain to grasp than sitting with the alternative: uncertainty.

It’s important to remember that you can’t believe everything you think. 

I know that can be hard to grasp. When you feel scared or anxious, your FEELINGS are real, but the threat your feelings are being caused by may NOT be real.

The first place to start in determining whether your thoughts are worth listening to or not, is to ask yourself if you are experiencing fear or anxiety. With fear, the threat is present and real. Whereas with anxiety, the threat is distant and imagined.

For example, fear sounds like, “I tested positive for COVID-19. I already have a weakened immune system due to an autoimmune disease and I don’t have insurance.” Anxiety sounds like, “I read 75 articles this morning on the spread of COVID-19. We’re all going to die. The world is ending.” 

If you are experiencing anxiety due to COVID-19, that is totally normal and understandable. Another major source of anxiety people are experiencing comes from the unusual experience of practicing self-quarantine. Most of us are not used to spending 24 hours a day in our homes. Whether you live alone, with roommates, a significant other, family members, or many, many cats, everyone is getting used to this major lifestyle shift. 

In order to combat feelings of anxiety due to COVID-19, I’ve come up with a list of action items within your control that you can productively focus on in order to live a healthy and fulfilling life while in self-quarantine.

1. Be intentional with how you spend your time. Every time I go on vacation I am always surprised at how slowly time moves. And then, when it’s over, I am equally surprised that I have no idea what I did for the past week or where the time went. Whether we are hunkered down for a couple weeks or a couple months, ask yourself, “how do I want to emerge at the end of this?” I suggest sitting down to meditate or journal for a few minutes, and really checking in with yourself about what you want to gain from this experience. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn Spanish or have been meaning to clean out your garage for a while. Or maybe all you truly need right now is to get some good quality sleep. Whatever you chose to do, the key is to be intentional. Set a few goals and make time to work on them every day. I suggest creating a schedule at the start of each week and plugging in tasks that allow you to meet your goals. As they say, a goal without a plan is just a wish. 

2. Modify existing routines. Parts of your life that were once standard procedure have either changed drastically or altogether disappeared. Just like uncertainty, change is inherently stressful. Having healthy routines is vital for maintaining mental health. Instead of completely letting go of your normal routines, make adjustments to them given your current circumstances. For example, if you are used to an hour long commute where you get to listen to music and podcasts, think about taking a walk outside during that time instead. Continue to shower, shave, get dressed, etc. in the morning as you normally would. Maintaining (healthy) routines will help you stay afloat amidst this rapidly changing time.

3. Move your body! To stay healthy, experts across the board suggest at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. Just because you are stuck at home does not mean you can’t get moving. In fact, you probably need it now more than ever! Gyms might be closed but there are tons of options to exercise while at home. Here is a list of fitness apps that are great for working out at home. Tons of fitness studios, such as Rumble, Orange Theory, 305 Fitness, and Modo Yoga, have all crossed over to online streaming platforms, many of them are free. Most importantly, the great outdoors are alive and well! Local and national parks are remaining open during this time. If weather permits, take a hike in nature, or go for a walk or run outside. (Just remember to stay at least six feet away from strangers!)

4. Create physical and mental boundaries inside your home. Whether you live in a studio apartment or a big house with a yard, being in the same space (with the same people) for an extended period of time is just not normal and will drive you crazy. I’ve heard a lot of people talking about doing work from their bed in their pajamas. While this reprieve might sound nice and cozy, it is a recipe for internal demise. If you consistently do work from your bed and your couch, your body becomes used to performing those behaviors from those places. So when it comes time to rest, your body will be confused, think it is time to work, and wake itself up. This confusion can impact your sleep cycles, which can lead to anxiety and depression, among other things. Set clear boundaries for where and when you work as well as relax. If you live in a small space, and cannot physically do separate tasks in separate rooms, get creative with physical and energetic markers to denote work and rest. For example, if you do all of your work at the dining room table, clear away your computer and play some relaxing music at the end of the work day to signify an energetic shift. 

5. Have a house meeting. Whether you live with roommates, your significant other, or family members, being in such close contact with each other is a new experience for everyone. You are bound to get on each others nerves. Attack the conflict before it happens by proactively having a house meeting. Discuss how you are all feeling about being home together and set some guidelines for how you plan to peacefully coexist in your shared space for the next several weeks. 

6. Social distancing does not equal social isolation. Even though we are physically isolated, we have the capacity to be more socially and emotionally connected than ever before. The reason this virus was able to spread so vastly is that people all over the world are connected with each other. It might be the first time in history of the universe that the entire human race is working together throughout the world. One of the phrases I have been hearing people say the most is “We are all in this together.” And we really are! Use technology to your advantage. Reach out and connect with your people. Instead of a coffee dates, have a phone date. And instead of happy hour, have a Houseparty!

7. Reframe negative thoughts. Thinking negatively does not help you. In fact, it makes it harder for you to think creatively and solve problems. Of course this is hard for most people to do in general, and even harder when the state of the world is rather bleak. If you want to have some semblance of happiness during this time, you have no choice but to train your mind to see the silver lining. Personally, I am choosing to see this virus as a gift. Never before has the entire world been forced to slow down. People are at home, spending time with family, roommates, and pets. People are enjoying simple things like having conversations, making food, and playing games. Yes, many people are in fear of being sick or losing work, or have already gotten sick or lost work. But EVERYONE is in this position. Let’s make the most of it. If you want to read more about this subject, check out this article I previously wrote about teaching your brain to think positively.

8. Have faith. The word faith is defined by “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” Faith is blind. It is not funded by an organization. It is not written in a book of rules. You may have faith in something that is not scientifically backed or proven. The purpose of faith is to believe in something that you cannot see. It is to let go of the need for certainty, and trust that things will work out exactly as they should. Faith is scary, but it is important. In my work as a therapist, I have always observed that my clients who have faith in something they cannot prove feel better and live more fully in their lives. Having faith allows you to relinquish control and live in the moment. You can experience that feeling through many mediums including prayer, meditation, art, dance, song, etc. Your experience of spirituality is unique to you. So whatever you believe in, whether crystals or Catholicism … now is the time to tap into your faith. 

Please know that if you are struggling right now due to stress associated with the COVID-19 virus, you are not alone. I am here to help. I am currently seeing clients remotely through video (Telehealth.) If you need more support during this time, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.