Couples Therapy

LCSW office in Los Angeles for individual and couples therapy

Most couples arrive in therapy after a version of the same argument has happened enough times that one or both of them has started to wonder if something is actually wrong. Not just with the relationship. With whether the relationship can change.

The argument is rarely about what it looks like on the surface. It is about feeling unseen, or unsafe, or like you have been trying to get through to someone who cannot quite hear you. The content changes. The cycle stays the same.

That cycle is what we work on.

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Who I Work With —

I work with couples and partners who are committed to doing real work together. That might look like:

Partners who have been having the same fight for years and want to finally understand what is actually driving it.

Couples navigating a major transition: a move, a career change, a loss, the arrival of children, a new relationship dynamic, or a structure that is evolving.

Partners where one or both people are in the middle of something significant, a coming out, an identity shift, a life that is being rebuilt, and the relationship is feeling the weight of that.

Relationships of all configurations and identities. I work with gay and lesbian relationships, partnerships exploring or practicing ethical non-monogamy, and relationships whose structure does not follow a conventional script. You will not need to explain or justify how your relationship is built before we can get to the actual work.

Couples where one partner is neurodivergent, whether that is ADHD or autism, and where that dynamic is shaping how you communicate and misread each other. I can hold both sides of that.

Partners who are seriously considering separation and want to make that decision with clarity rather than in the middle of a crisis.

If you are unsure whether couples therapy is the right level of support for where you are, we can figure that out together on a consultation call.

How I Work —

I approach this work through an attachment lens. The core idea is simple: we are wired to need our partners, and when that connection feels uncertain, we protect ourselves in predictable ways. One partner often reaches harder, pushing for a response, any response. The other pulls back to keep things from getting worse. You may have heard these described as anxious and avoidant attachment. The labels can be useful, but I care less about the category than the pattern you are both caught in, because each of your moves makes sense on its own and each one sets off the other's.

Emotionally Focused Therapy, which is built on attachment science, gives us the map for slowing that cycle down: what each of you is trying to say that is not landing, and what each of you needs in order to feel safe enough to connect. The Gottman Method adds practical tools for the moments in between, like how to repair after a hard conversation and how to raise something difficult without it turning into a fight.

Attachment is not only a framework for two people in a traditional structure. For queer couples, and for partners in open or polyamorous relationships, security can look different and get tested in different ways. Feeling secure with a partner who has other partners is its own skill, and it can be built.

The goal is not to stop fighting. The goal is to understand what the fighting is about, so that you can get to what is underneath it.

I will work with both of you, which means I am not on anyone's side and I am on both of your sides at the same time. My job is to hold the relationship, not just the individuals in it.

Couples tend to get the most out of this work when we meet weekly, particularly at the start. Biweekly sessions can work once things have stabilized, but early on the consistency matters. Progress in couples work is fragile without it.

Relationship Intensives —

Some relationships need to move faster than weekly sessions allow. Maybe there has been a rupture that needs immediate attention. Maybe you are in the middle of a decision and need space to work through it without waiting a week between sessions. Maybe you want to use a concentrated block of time to go deeper than a standard session makes possible.

Relationship intensives are extended sessions, typically a half day or full day, designed for exactly that. They can be used as a standalone experience or as a way to accelerate or reset an ongoing therapeutic process.

If an intensive feels like the right fit, bring it up when you reach out and we can talk through what that would look like for you specifically.

The Details —

Couples sessions are $325. Sessions are 50 minutes and held via telehealth throughout California.

I do not accept insurance. I am happy to provide a superbill for potential out-of-network reimbursement.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation to get a sense of fit before we begin. Both partners are welcome on that call.

Book Your Free 15-Minute Call

Common Questions

  • Most people asking this want to know two things: can our relationship be fixed, and how long will it take?

    The research is encouraging. In studies of Emotionally Focused Therapy, one of the approaches I draw from, about 90 percent of couples improved significantly. Gottman's research adds an important reframe: about 69 percent of relationship conflict comes from differences that never fully go away. So "fixed" usually doesn't mean you stop disagreeing. It means you stop having the same fight.

    Most couples feel a shift within the first couple of months of weekly sessions. It takes longer after a major rupture like an affair, and it moves faster when you come in early.

  • Neither is better across the board, and they work well together. EFT focuses on the emotional cycle underneath your conflict: what each of you is reaching for, and how you protect yourselves when you don't get it. The Gottman Method adds research-based tools for daily life, like how to start a hard conversation gently and how to repair after a fight. I lead with EFT because lasting change usually comes from shifting the cycle, and I bring in Gottman tools where they help.

  • My couples sessions are $325 for 50 minutes, held by telehealth anywhere in California. I don't take insurance, but I can provide a superbill you can submit for possible out-of-network reimbursement.

  • That's more common than people think, and it doesn't mean therapy won't work. Reluctance usually comes from a fear of being blamed or ganged up on. The free consultation is a low-stakes way for both of you to get a feel for me first, and in the room my job is to make sure neither of you becomes the problem.

  • They matter less as labels and more as patterns. When the connection feels threatened, one partner often reaches harder while the other pulls away, and each move sets off the other. Knowing whether you lean anxious or avoidant can help you make sense of that. The change comes from recognizing the cycle while it's happening and learning to reach for each other instead.

  • No. Some of the best work happens before things get bad: during a move, a new baby, a career change, or when you notice the same argument coming up more often. Starting early usually means shorter, less painful work.

  • Ask directly. An affirming therapist should be comfortable with queer relationships without needing you to explain the basics, and should understand the pressures queer couples often face that straight couples don't, from family acceptance to building a relationship without a script. Much of my practice is with queer couples, and I work with partners in open and polyamorous relationships as well as monogamous ones.