ENM & Polyamory-Affirming Therapy
Maybe you’re thinking about opening up a relationship and don’t know how to start that conversation. Maybe you’re already polyamorous, in an open relationship, or practicing some version of ethical non-monogamy, and you want help with the logistics, the emotions, or the parts of it that are genuinely hard even when the relationship itself is good. Maybe you’re looking for a therapist and you’re tired of the idea of having to explain what polyamory even is before you can get to the actual work.
Any of those is a reason to be here.
Who I Work With —
I work with individuals, couples, and partners across the full range of what consensual non-monogamy can look like: polyamory, open relationships, swinging, relationship anarchy, solo poly, throuples and polycules, monogamish arrangements, and the versions that don’t have a name yet. That includes:
People considering opening up a relationship for the first time and wanting to think it through before they act on it.
Partners already practicing ENM who want a space to work through jealousy, insecurity, or a communication pattern that keeps breaking down in the same place.
Couples or polycules navigating a new partner, a shift in structure, or a rupture that needs real repair.
Individuals who are dating or partnered non-monogamously and want their own space to process what comes up, separate from their relationships.
You will not need to justify your relationship structure to me before we get to work. I take it as a given that there is no one right way to do this.
How I Work —
I don’t have a rulebook for what your relationships should look like, and I’m suspicious of anyone who does. What I bring is training in Internal Family Systems, which is often where jealousy and insecurity actually live and where the real work happens, along with Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method for couples and partners who want to understand what’s happening underneath a conflict rather than just get through it.
I’m also a Kink Aware Professional. If your relationships or your sexuality involve dynamics outside the mainstream script, you won’t need to brief me on the basics first.
I’m direct. I’ll ask the question you’ve been avoiding. I will also not make you feel like something is wrong with you for building a relationship that looks different from what you grew up seeing.
Relationship Intensives —
Some relationships need to move faster than weekly sessions allow. Maybe there has been a rupture that needs immediate attention. Maybe you are in the middle of a decision and need space to work through it without waiting a week between sessions. Maybe you and your partners are navigating a structural shift, a new partner, an opening up, a renegotiated agreement, and want dedicated time to work through it together rather than spreading it across weeks. Maybe you want to use a concentrated block of time to go deeper than a standard session makes possible.
Relationship intensives are extended sessions, typically a half day or full day, designed for exactly that. They work for couples, partners, and polycules alike, and can be used as a standalone experience or as a way to accelerate or reset an ongoing therapeutic process.
If an intensive feels like the right fit, bring it up when you reach out and we can talk through what that would look like for you specifically.
The Details —
Individual sessions are $250. Couples and partner sessions are $325. Sessions are 50 minutes and held via telehealth throughout California.
I do not accept insurance. I am happy to provide a superbill for potential out-of-network reimbursement.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation to get a sense of fit before we begin. Both partners are welcome on that call.
Common Questions
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ENM stands for ethical non-monogamy, an umbrella term for relationships where everyone involved knows about and agrees to more than one romantic or sexual connection. That includes polyamory, open relationships, swinging, and relationship anarchy. ENM therapy is therapy with someone who understands these structures and treats them as legitimate. You won't be steered back toward monogamy or asked to defend your relationship before we get to work.
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It varies more than it should. Some therapists still treat non-monogamy as a problem to fix, which is why it's worth asking directly before you start. My view is that polyamory is one of many ways to build a relationship, and it thrives or struggles for the same reasons any relationship does: communication, trust, and how people handle hard feelings. Being affirming doesn't mean I'll agree with every choice. It means the structure itself isn't on trial.
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Yes, and it's one of the most common reasons people reach out. Therapy isn't there to talk either of you into or out of anything. It's a place to understand what's driving the request, what the hesitation is protecting, and whether there's a path you can both choose freely. Sometimes that leads to opening up slowly, sometimes to staying monogamous, and sometimes to a harder conversation about what each of you needs. If your partner isn't ready to come in, you can start on your own.
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It's one of the best times to come in. Opening up tends to surface whatever was already unresolved, so it helps to understand each person's motivations and fears, and what agreements you want, before anyone acts on them.
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I don't treat jealousy as proof that non-monogamy isn't working, and I don't treat it as something to push through either. Jealousy is usually information: a fear of being replaced, an old hurt about not being chosen, a need that hasn't been said out loud. Using Internal Family Systems, we get to know the part of you that feels it and what it's protecting. That tends to shift the feeling more than new rules or reassurance alone.
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Yes. I work with couples, triads, and larger configurations when the work calls for it. With more than two people in the room, we get clear early on about who is part of the work and what each person wants from it.
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No. I see clients via telehealth anywhere in California, so you can work with me from LA, San Diego, the Bay Area, Palm Springs, or anywhere in between. For a lot of ENM clients, telehealth also means more privacy, since there's no waiting room.